Back to School:
A Smooth Transition From Summer

Washington Parent Magazine, August 1997 Annette Spector, M.S., Ed.

Getting children off to a good start in September is vital for a successful school year. As the end of summer approaches, children experience a multitude of feelings about their return to school, including anxiety, excitement, joy, fear and curiosity. Some very young children also experience separation anxiety after being with their parents so much more during the summer months. And there is always an element of confusion as well, as children and parents have to deal with scheduling and balancing new activities with school schedules and home responsibilities.

Before children get back into the full swing of their new school schedule, gradually put structure into the last few days before school starts. This would include setting times for reading, enforcing bedtime hours, collecting and organizing school materials, coming in earlier at night from play and organizing desks and work space to prepare for homework.

Goal Setting

For younger children, family discussions should center around how school can be fun and how children can achieve success. Together, you need to talk about making new friends, seeing old friends, meeting new teachers, and the kind of work your child will be doing. For upper elementary age children and older children, talk about prioritizing and organizing their activities and responsibilities.

For older children, the issue of responsibilities is paramount. Early family discussions can help avoid conflicts and arguments later on in the school year. Review your child's schedule. Ask his opinion as to which subjects will be more difficult, which easier. Discuss relative strengths and weaknesses, the effort required to succeed and expectations for academic success. Parents need to be very straightforward as to what their expectations are for homework, studying time, home and family responsibilities, and scheduling projects so everyone in the household isn't frantically scurrying around just before a major assignment is due.

Be realistic when setting goals. Even very bright children shouldn't be expected to get A's all the time. Remember, as adults, we can avoid doing things which are difficult for us, but students don't have that choice. Work out the amount of time to be spent on extra-curricular activities, so a balance is achieved. Listen and discuss; don't lecture.

Setting Priorities

This is probably one of the most important issues to discuss as the school year is about to begin. Listen carefully to what your child feels are his priorities and be sure to communicate your priorities very clearly. With a give-and-take discussion, a compromise should be reached. This should help avoid arguments during the week about skipping a music lesson because of a test or not studying for a test because of a sports practice. Remember that priorities will change as the year goes on and monthly discussions to re-evaluate the situation, discuss excessive pressures and reset priorities are a good idea. If you take some time to actively engage your children in give-and-take discussions about goals, priorities, and expectations NOW, chances are the school year will be a little less frantic and, hopefully, more successful.

Parents As Role Models

If we parents are racing in and out of the house, always stressed about not having enough time to fit in all the zillion things we have to do, how are our children going to learn to keep their lives organized? They need to see us sitting down once a week with our own calendars/appointment books, filling in our activities, writing lists of weekend chores to be accomplished, setting aside time to sit down and read, work on a hobby and participate in family activities. As they learn to organize their assignments, activities and responsibilities, they will have a better chance of learning to balance their own busy lives.

One of the most important expectations for our children is that they READ, to become lifelong readers. They need to see us value reading. Frequent trips to the library should be a given, having lots of books and magazines lying around the house with specific time set aside for reading, enthusiastically talking with our children about the ideas in the books that we are reading; these are all essential activities to help our children get off to an early start for developing a solid reading habit.

Communication With Teachers

Although we want teachers to formulate their own impressions of their new students, it is important for parents to communicate early if there are specific concerns, anxieties, learning, attention or behavior problems that will need to be specifically addressed. Letting teachers know about these issues before classes start, or during the first week or so of school, can get things started on a positive note. For example:

· If you know your child will need extra time to complete written assignments due to a visual-motor lag or other delays, inform the teacher. · If your child has trouble staying organized and always looses papers, books and materials, work with the teacher right away to set up a system for keeping track of papers and supplies. · If your child is shy, wary of new friends and new teachers, ask for help to facilitate · friendships and peer interactions. · If your child responds best to frequent positive feedback and needs that extra pat on the back to sustain work production, the teacher needs to know. · If your child needs to hear directions repeated because she can't "get them" the first time, request that verbal directions be paired with visual cues, pictures or written directions. Don't let your child suffer; let the teacher know. · If your child has particular anxiety or fear of math or other subjects, call the teacher to request extra encouragement right from the start of school.

Remember, teachers aren't mind readers. The vast majority greatly appreciate, and act on, any information, assistance, and support you can offer. You are your child's number one advocate and communication with teachers early on can only help.